THE DEATH WATCH-THIRTY-EIGHT
Random Thoughts
12/17/2007 1:33 AM
I spent the last few days in the most horrible conditions I could ever imagine. I had to go to the bathroom and couldn’t go because I was afraid of hurting myself. By the time I went to the bathroom I had already crapped in my pants. I then had to void myself with the catheter which required standing up and standing there on groggy legs. When I made it back to my sitting position I was overjoyed, but all I had to look forward to was more of the same. Why? I dreamt that all these separate parts rebelled and did their own things and didn’t perform what they would normally do. It seemed to work in my dream. I don’t want my joints to hurt so I can stand up and go to the bathroom, And when I stand up I don’t want to feel groggy so I’m afraid of losing my footing. If I can stand, then I ought to be able to pee.
The longer I sit here and just think about not doing anything the longer it’s going to be before I get a chance to pee. I’ve been procrastinating for an hour so I think it’s time to move.
12/18/2007 5:07 PM
I just had a blood transfusion which is supposed to make me feel better because it takes care of my lack of iron. So far, I just feel well enough to write this. I really feel awful. I fear getting up on my own and I am always scared of hurting myself. I really don’t know how long I’ll be able to live this way. It’s hard for me to stay awake and even read the newspaper. I’ve lost interest in writing for the blog and I’m only writing this to let you know how miserable I am. I might feel better tomorrow because of the transfusion. These random thoughts might become shorter but I will try to keep them current. I don’t see the doctor again until after Christmas.
12/17/2007 1:33 AM
I spent the last few days in the most horrible conditions I could ever imagine. I had to go to the bathroom and couldn’t go because I was afraid of hurting myself. By the time I went to the bathroom I had already crapped in my pants. I then had to void myself with the catheter which required standing up and standing there on groggy legs. When I made it back to my sitting position I was overjoyed, but all I had to look forward to was more of the same. Why? I dreamt that all these separate parts rebelled and did their own things and didn’t perform what they would normally do. It seemed to work in my dream. I don’t want my joints to hurt so I can stand up and go to the bathroom, And when I stand up I don’t want to feel groggy so I’m afraid of losing my footing. If I can stand, then I ought to be able to pee.
The longer I sit here and just think about not doing anything the longer it’s going to be before I get a chance to pee. I’ve been procrastinating for an hour so I think it’s time to move.
12/18/2007 5:07 PM
I just had a blood transfusion which is supposed to make me feel better because it takes care of my lack of iron. So far, I just feel well enough to write this. I really feel awful. I fear getting up on my own and I am always scared of hurting myself. I really don’t know how long I’ll be able to live this way. It’s hard for me to stay awake and even read the newspaper. I’ve lost interest in writing for the blog and I’m only writing this to let you know how miserable I am. I might feel better tomorrow because of the transfusion. These random thoughts might become shorter but I will try to keep them current. I don’t see the doctor again until after Christmas.
posted by Michael at
5:23:00 PM
2 Comments:
First: Get a walker to use at home and cane for traveling. Contact your doctor's office for the medical supply shop near you. Second, try a protalable handicap toilet to set next to your chair. It is less embarassing to ask people to leave the room while you use it, than to ask them to help you change you pants.
You are very brave to share you life with us. Thank you for taking the time to write.
J
By
Anonymous, at 12:06 PM
Dad, please have Sue find out about a lower dosage for that patch you're using, or about some other pain remedy - there has simply GOT TO BE something that will help take the pain away that doesn't make you so tired. There are more drugs out there these days than you can shake a stick at, there has to be something that will work better for you.
By
Anonymous, at 8:55 AM
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