THE DEATH WATCH-TWENTY-TWO

On the rare occasions when I have no place to drive or don't plan on driving myself I have tried to increase my pain dosages and frequency and the results are significant. I am able to sit comfortably in any chair or sofa without having to place my legs in strategic positions. I don't feel dizzy or high while I am pain free but I do find that I tend to doze off while watching TV or reading a book. Although I feel well rested I still tend to doze when I am sitting and I can see that this would not be very good if I were sitting and driving. I find that I try to stay particularly alert while driving and I try to maintain a certain level of pain just to keep me aware that I am not that influenced by the drugs.

I made a mistake today. I thought that since I was just sitting around watching football today I really didn’t need my regular dose of painkiller. I was so wrong. The progress of my cancer has now reached the point where the pain occurs whether I am moving or not. Up to now I was pain free when I was stationary so I just assumed that there was no need to take the pain meds unless I planned to move. My first indicator of my error in planning was when my jaw started hurting while I was just sitting. The second indicator was that I couldn’t find a comfortable sitting position. The final blow was when I finally decided to take the painkiller and I was in so much pain I could hardly move. I have learned my lesson and I hope I don’t make the same mistake again. But, to err is human, so I’m sure it’ll happen again even though I don’t look forward to it happening.

This ought to be an interesting week. Monday I have to get a blood sample taken and on Tuesday morning I have to go to the hospital to have a central line installed. Thursday is Thanksgiving so I will be “eating” all my meals before we leave the house and I just hope we remember to take the pain meds with us. The week after Thanksgiving is when the Clinical Trial really starts.

I got my new laptop on Saturday and since I got it especially for the wireless capability I wanted from my recliner but somehow I couldn’t get it to work. It is a nice computer but somehow I need to get some keys or spit-balls-of-wisdom on how to get the parts I have to talk to each other. I still have high hopes.