THE DEATH WATCH-SIXTEEN
Random Observations
11/7/07-4:30AM-Jaw is really hurting, both sides. I woke because of my bladder but I couldn’t go back to sleep since my jaw is hurting. I think I’ll get myself a pedicure. I watched “On Golden Pond” last night and I seemed to focus on the talk of death and dying which now seems such a personal and private matter. I guess all our expectations differ and, therefore, so do our reactions. So far I seem to be reacting selfishly and as long as I’m not in a tizzy over dying then I would prefer that others also maintain their cool. I will probably mellow out in the near future and start to be more understanding of other’s concerns. I don’t yet know how this will manifest itself but I just expect it to occur.
11/08/07-Thursday-4:00AM-The bladder alarm clock at work again. I awake with a dry mouth and very sore jaws that seem to get better immediately after taking the painkiller. The accumulation of the nighttime saliva does no seem excessive. I have not seen any appreciable difference in the restriction in my esophagus since the radiation treatment stopped so I can only conclude that the attempt was a failure. The net result for me, therefore, is not a great improvement in my quality of life. The spitting is by far the biggest incentive I have to investigate the use of the Doctor assisted suicide law here in Oregon. I can live with the need for painkillers and I can still function pretty well while “drugged” but as far as quality of life goes, the constant spitting is getting very old.
I really need to get a better laptop since this old Sony just can’t handle the wireless card that I got. I will need to have wireless access because I anticipate I will be bedridden shortly and I don’t want to lose touch with the Internet while confined to a deathbed.
I feel less and less like doing anything because it takes so much effort just to get up and the fault is strictly mine. As soon as I hear any stirring in the house I will stir myself and get some painkiller which will help me through the next stage, showering and getting dressed.
11/08/07-8:00PM-The spitting seems to have diminished a bit so I can only suppose there might be some improvement in the near future. At least I can still hope.
11/09/07-Friday-3:30AM-Woke up and decided to have breakfast early. I got a couple of blood tests yesterday and I’m supposed to get another today, all part of the precursors to the clinical study I signed up for.
11/7/07-4:30AM-Jaw is really hurting, both sides. I woke because of my bladder but I couldn’t go back to sleep since my jaw is hurting. I think I’ll get myself a pedicure. I watched “On Golden Pond” last night and I seemed to focus on the talk of death and dying which now seems such a personal and private matter. I guess all our expectations differ and, therefore, so do our reactions. So far I seem to be reacting selfishly and as long as I’m not in a tizzy over dying then I would prefer that others also maintain their cool. I will probably mellow out in the near future and start to be more understanding of other’s concerns. I don’t yet know how this will manifest itself but I just expect it to occur.
11/08/07-Thursday-4:00AM-The bladder alarm clock at work again. I awake with a dry mouth and very sore jaws that seem to get better immediately after taking the painkiller. The accumulation of the nighttime saliva does no seem excessive. I have not seen any appreciable difference in the restriction in my esophagus since the radiation treatment stopped so I can only conclude that the attempt was a failure. The net result for me, therefore, is not a great improvement in my quality of life. The spitting is by far the biggest incentive I have to investigate the use of the Doctor assisted suicide law here in Oregon. I can live with the need for painkillers and I can still function pretty well while “drugged” but as far as quality of life goes, the constant spitting is getting very old.
I really need to get a better laptop since this old Sony just can’t handle the wireless card that I got. I will need to have wireless access because I anticipate I will be bedridden shortly and I don’t want to lose touch with the Internet while confined to a deathbed.
I feel less and less like doing anything because it takes so much effort just to get up and the fault is strictly mine. As soon as I hear any stirring in the house I will stir myself and get some painkiller which will help me through the next stage, showering and getting dressed.
11/08/07-8:00PM-The spitting seems to have diminished a bit so I can only suppose there might be some improvement in the near future. At least I can still hope.
11/09/07-Friday-3:30AM-Woke up and decided to have breakfast early. I got a couple of blood tests yesterday and I’m supposed to get another today, all part of the precursors to the clinical study I signed up for.
posted by Michael at
4:09:00 AM
2 Comments:
I had neck cancer and lost all saliva after my treatment and haven't gotten it back a year and half later. I have to feed through a PEG tube and not eating solid food in a that long and having to sip water every 2 minutes gets old too. Hang in there.
Mike (Blorno)
By
blorno, at 9:20 AM
Thanks for your note. I appreciate all the feedback I can get. Solid food looks better everyday but also further away.
By
CADMAVEN, at 5:26 PM
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